Take a Step Back in Time - Parenting

In today's economy, fast paced and demanding life, it isn't easy to be an effective adult, let alone a parent. As a single working parent, with a teenager, let me make a few suggestions. Take a step back in time to how things were when WE were growing up.

"Back in MY day," we only had 1 TV in the house, it only received about 15 channels (we didn't have cable), I was the remote to change the channel (by twisting a knob), and had to adjust the aluminum foil covered antenna by hand. Today, we have 500 Channels and Nothing to Watch. My suggestion? Turn off the electronic things, and take them out on the back patio to talk WITH, not AT them. Float an idea and LISTEN to what they say. Set aside the cable/satellite TV, wi-fi laptop, eTablet, and smartphone.

My son and I spent the evening on the back porch while it was breezy, and I asked him a few basic questions that generated a lot of conversations, and we laughed hard TOGETHER. This conversation enabled me to recapture what it means to be "young at heart." Some of the basic questions started with:

• How did you sleep last night? Have any dreams? (clues you in to what is in their subconscious)
• What was the best part of today? (lets you know what they enjoyed about this day)
• What was the hardest part of today? (lets you know what might be "bothering" them)
• What was the easiest part of today? (lets you know what they might excel at)
• What was the most enjoyable part of today? (lets you know what sparks happiness)
• Anything else you want to talk about?

The last one is what tends to generate the most conversation, once you get them talking. And once you do, "please hold on to the bar" because it is going to be an interesting ride. Once I got my son talking, we talked about school, soccer, girls, dating... yeah, that was DEFINITELY an interesting evening in front of the fire bowl.

But I digress... my suggestion is to shut off all of the electronic stuff that clutters your life, and live your own, accompanied by those immediately around you. Toast some marshmallows, make S'mores.

Computers

Computers have come a LONG way in the last 40 years. I started playing with computers back in the late 70s. My first experiences were on a Radio Shack TRS-80 Model III/IV. That was when we had to use 5.25" floppy disks (and yes, they actually WERE floppy). I learned how to draw the flowchart of the programs I wrote and how to use an hole-punch to use both sides of the disks. I still have my disk carrying case with the old disks in them. Hmm... I wonder if they still work...

I was working as an apprentice to a master carpenter and saved my money to buy my first personal computer. I got a TI 99/4A even though a lot of my friends were going with the Commodore 64. I remember that I had to also purchase a small 13" black and white TV to use as a monitor and used an old Sears & Roebuck cassette tape recorder to store my data on. I actually think I still have that tucked away somewhere and all of the cassettes too. But, I don't have the TI99/4A anymore. It was chucked into the dumpster when I had to move, and didn't feel like carting it with me.

I went to college and actually minored in "computer technology" for a while. So, I lived through the 8086, 8088 and 80286 generations. And all of the chip mutations in between. I coded in PASCAL, COBOL, BASIC, and on the UNIX system. I drank a LOT of coffee back in those days. I relished when a meal consisted of a set of Pop-Tarts and a Jolt with a set of Vivarin in it. I miss Jolt...

Anyway... I spent nearly 20 years with a corporation working on an a PC system, and stuck in Windows. I still have the Windows 3.11 installation disks and several versions of DOS. I've suffered through all of the permutations that they've had, threw my last Toshiba against the wall and stomped on it in the driveway, and got a Mac. I'll never go back to PC.

I got to experience the Apple, the Apple II, the Apple IIc, and the Apple IIe... But they weren't "approved" at the company I was with. I currently own and use an Apple MacBook Pro, and will NEVER go back to PC.

Thermostat Settings

Being single and living in an apartment can sure change your perspective about the thermostat, furnace, air conditioner, and utility costs. Doing some simple research showed that it can help reduce my utility costs if I utilize the thermostat properly. And now I'm going to share my findings with you. Unfortunately, I'm in an apartment and they won't let me install a programmable one, so I have to push the buttons myself.

One of the best sites I found regarding this was at the Madison Gas and Electric site. Being based in Madison, Wisconsin, I feel that they do have a good background in understanding heating during the winter. Go to their site to read a little more about "why" setting your thermostat back is good and what some of the myths are about doing it. A lot of other sites I researched said the same thing as theirs, but theirs was the easiest to read. I'm going to share the two important pieces of their site here:

The more you set back, the more you save

Set back	8 hours per day	16 hours per day	24 hours per day
5°	5%	10%	15%
7°	7%	14%	21%
11°	11%	22%	33%
13°	13%	26%	39%

Check with your doctor if you have a medical condition that requires different temperatures. If you have had problems with pipes freezing during extremely cold weather, correct the problem before setting back.

Recommended thermostat settings

	Winter	Summer
When you're home:	68°*	78°
When you're not at home:	55°*	85°
When you're sleeping:	55°*	78°

*Or as low as health permits. Check the owner's manual if turning down the temperature for more than 24 hours.

From Orvis

Since it is winter time where I am, I have set my thermostat to 60 F, last year I had it set at 64 F. I've compared my gas and electric bills, and they are 14% less this year than last. Yes, it means that I have to put on a sweatshirt or flannel shirt and throw an extra blanket on the bed, but it is definitely helping the bank account. I'm going to add to the mix of lowering the thermostat to 55 at night, and see what happens. Guess I have to get my Union suit pajamas out again.

Dozer dozing...

Last summer I set my thermostat at 74 F, but I think I'll set it up to 78 F next summer and see how that affects my bills. I'd set it higher when I am not home, but I do have Dozer here with me, so I'll be kind to him by keeping it lower.


Saving cents makes sense...and means more coffee at Dunkin Donuts...

Toska

A friend of mine recently posted on Facebook a word that expresses a very deep spiritual feeling and it made me stop instantly because I hadn't heard that word since I was about 14 or 15. Of course, as most of my posts point out, I was with my grandparents. I can actually remember the discussion I had with my grandfather about this particular word.

My grandfather (who was Greek) and I were tromping through the woods behind their house. They were VERY deep woods, but we were heading towards the powerline cut because both sides of the cut were completely covered with berry bushes, and it was time to go pick several bushels (I'll discuss that in another post) so we could make pies.

As we walked, he looked at me and said "you look troubled, what are you feeling?" I explained that "I just didn't sleep well last night. I don't know why. My mind just wouldn't stop. And now, I feel sad." He was quiet for a while and we journeyed farther into the woods. He was quiet, and didn't ask me any more questions. He knew that my mind was still whirling trying to figure it all out. It was processing what I was "feeling" and "what caused it," but it was getting nowhere. I was pretty much left alone to process the spiritual side of myself, and my grandfather was the kind of man that just let it step forward on it's own path. He was there for guidance, and teaching. But, when the emotions where on the overwhelming side, he could tell. And he could put it all into a perspective that I could embrace.

As the morning wore on, and I picked a seemingly ENDLESS amount of berries, the sun warmed my back. And I absorbed the energy of the heat. It warmed me from the inside and restored the stability that my spirit needed. Each handful of berries that I put into my basket reassured me that "by tonight, this will be delicious." So, my spirit was lifted.

I looked down the path to my grandfather, and asked him "why did I feel sad even if nothing happened?" He said, "There is only one word that explains it... toska." He explained it to me as "a feeling of sadness and pain, way down on the inside...but you don't know what has made you feel this way...your brain and your soul are just having a conversation about something that you feel and something you don't realize you know. It will pass when you find the positive moment of your path."

I have to admit, that at my age, that didn't make a lot of sense to me. But, it kinda did. By the time the journey into the woods ended, I was stabilized, and we had nearly 3 bushels of berries.

All these years later, when I read toska on that Facebook posting, it brought back that memory with my grandfather, but also made me look it up. Just to "define" it a little better. It is best explained by Vladimir Nabokov in the following quote:

"Toska - noun /ˈtō-skə/ - Russian word roughly translated as sadness, melancholia, lugubriousness.
"No single word in English renders all the shades of toska. At its deepest and most painful, it is a sensation of great spiritual anguish, often without any specific cause. At less morbid levels it is a dull ache of the soul, a longing with nothing to long for, a sick pining, a vague restlessness, mental throes, yearning. In particular cases it may be the desire for somebody of something specific, nostalgia, love-sickness. At the lowest level it grades into ennui, boredom."

 And...I'll just leave it at that...

Tat Thoughts

Recently, a friend's father said he thought people with tattoos were from the wrong side of the tracks. That made me want to check some information and think about it myself. Simple web searching at this website [link] shows that:

Thirty-six percent of those ages 18 to 25, and 40 percent of those ages 26 to 40, have at least one tattoo, in 2006...

TATTOO FACTS & STATISTICS

If you are interested in scanning a brief history of tattoos, go to this website [link]. To share just a summary of it, it explains why my friend's father said what he said. But, there is a lot that he doesn't know.

Before the recent explosion of tattoo popularity in Western society, many people assumed that tattoos were reserved for the lower-class and societal outcasts like prostitutes, bikers, and ex-cons. They probably don’t realize that, at the turn of the century, tattoos were actually favored by royalty and the elite. During the late 1800’s and early 1900’s, tattoos could be found on the likes of Queen Victoria’s grandsons (Prince George and Prince Albert), on Winston Churchill (AND his mother!), on President Franklin D. Roosevelt, and on the members of the wealthy Vanderbilt family.

Rooster Ink

I currently have 9 tats and plan on getting more. The last ink I got was the Rooster head shown to the right. I went with the Rooster because it is my Chinese astrology symbol. It is on my chest.

My other ink include diamonds on my palms, my roller derby number on my forearms, dragonflies on the back of my calves, the Green Lantern logo on my outer right leg, and a tribal shamrock on my arm. That was my first one.

Other plans I have are for a Phoenix and an Eastern dragon as large back pieces, several to cover my legs, and eventually even my entire chest, belly, and have arm sleeves.

I already have another tattoo appointment set up, in about a month by Christy at Blue Flame Tattoo, and it is going to be a male American Goldfinch on the other side of my chest.

All of my tats have symbolic meanings to me, as do most tats that people have gotten. A great resource for discovering more about the "meanings," check out this website The Vanishing Tattoo. Especially the Tattoo Museum link at the bottom of that page. To discover YOUR own symbolic sign, I recommend this website, What's Your Sign.